The art of self-love and measuring your own worth

I was sent a quote from my friend last year and while there are many inspirational quotes floating around on the internet these days, this one stuck. I remember reading it and the instant impact it had.

This simple little quote made me realise that the way you feel about yourself and the way you present yourself to the world has a major impact on how people see you, treat you and even feel about you.

This may sound obvious in some regards, after all stereotypes exist and have done for a very long time but I am not talking about judging someone by their appearance or accent. I am talking about how we, as individuals, go about our daily lives, our attitude and how we converse with those around us.

This was the quote:

”When I started losing weight I noticed people started talking to me or being nicer to me and that my husband started being more affectionate towards me.

I would lay in bed and think ‘people didn’t like me before because I was fat’ and I would feel bad. The kind of bad that you feel in your bones, it makes your body ache. I didn’t like to think my worth was directly tied to my weight.

What I’ve come to realise is that it’s me. I’m nicer, I’m more approachable, I’m in better moods, I smile. People want to talk to me because I want to talk to people. My husband is more affectionate with me because I’m more affectionate with him.

They weren’t measuring my worth by my weight. I was.”

Source – Unknown

Now, while this quote is about weight (that is the conversation my friend and I were having) I think you’ll agree that this resonates in every day life too. This person hated they way they felt when they were overweight and, without realising it, it affected their every day life from how they treated their loved ones to who they spoke to. From my own experience I can only assume it also affected how they felt going out socially, what they wore and how they performed at work.

People would have picked up on how this person felt and most likely avoided them because of it as they were unsure what to say or felt this person tended to be moody, rude or unsociable.

Just a switch in attitude, not weight, made a huge difference.

Because she began to feel better about herself she started behaving differently and relaxing more, laughing more and opening up therefore she naturally attracted those around her and made herself available and open to love, conversation and fun.

Let’s be honest, we have all met those people who are just infectiously fun to be around haven’t we? They’re the people you remember and want to be friends with not someone who is always moaning or is a pessimist.

We reflect how we feel about ourselves and within ourselves onto others and put our assumptions into their mouths creating an untrue idea of how we think they see us.

As the saying goes: ‘You need to learn to love yourself first’ (it’s an oldie but a goodie). If you respect yourself people will respect you, if you love yourself then people will love you but see yourself as a doormat and people will too. See yourself as unworthy and others will too.

Life is a journey and I think part of that journey for a lot of us is self discovery. Some people know who they are early on and some people probably don’t ever know but I certainly think that how you look at yourself and treat yourself has a massive impact on how others will take you.

Command respect and you will receive respect.

Command love and you will receive love.

I truly believe it is as simple as that.

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